Hey, conservatives and independents, you're just imagining all those attacks by the left and woke culture. Late Night host Seth Meyers alleged on Tuesday that conservatives may not be unified on the idea of Trump 2024, but if CPAC proved anything, it is that conservatives are united around stupid culture war issues that nobody cares about. After discussing the results of CPAC's straw poll where Trump could not "even get above 55% with these wingnuts," Meyers noted that the "only truly unifying thing at CPAC, the beating heart of modern conservatism, were the dumb, invented culture war grievances, as evidenced by their complaints about total nonsense, like The Muppets and Mr. Potato Head."      Meyers, sounding like the political hack he is, of course omitted that it is the left's culture warriors, who motivated by "invented" grievances," urge content advisories for The Muppets on Disney+ and the turning of Mr. Potato Head into a genderless spud. After arguing that kids these days just want to watch Twitch (which on Monday, spelled women with an 'X') streams, Meyers, apparently thinking CPAC was just about these cultural issues, claimed "The Conservative Political Action Conference revealed once again that the modern conservative movement remains totally detached from reality and the mainstream of American politics people care about the pandemic and the economic crash, but at CPAC, they're obsessed with lies about the election, Mr. Potato Head, and The Muppets."   If conservatives are detached for merely responding to the left's culture war offensive, what does that make Meyers' fellow leftists, considering they are now also trying to cancel Dr. Seuss? This segment was sponsored by Subaru. Here is a transcript for the March 2 show: NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers 12:55 AM ET SETH MEYERS: Yet, the conference also proved that Trump is also as politically weak as he's ever been among the hardcore Republicans at CPAC. He only got 55% of the vote in a straw poll and only 68% want him to run again if you can't even get above 55% with these wingnuts, how could you ever get a majority in a national election? This is your crowd, it's like if you open a store that sells monocles and artisanal pickles in Williamsburg if you don't make a killing there, you're not going to do better in, like, Staten Island but the only truly unifying thing at CPAC, the beating heart of modern conservatism, were the dumb, invented culture war grievances, as evidenced by their complaints about total nonsense, like The Muppets and Mr. Potato Head.  BEGIN CLIP DONALD TRUMP JR: This month alone they've banned The Muppets  JIM JORDAN: You see last week they tried to cancel Kermit the Frog and Mr. Potato head? You see that?  MATT GAETZ: Look out, Mr. Potato Head you're next.  END CLIP MEYERS: I mean, I guess I would be concerned about Mr. Potato Head if I answered to Mr. Blockhead. I mean, Matt Gaetz's head has sharper corners than military sheets also. That's really what you think Americans care about amid a pandemic, an economic crash -- The Muppets and Mr. Potato Head? My kids don't even care about The Muppets and Mr. Potato Head. They want to watch Fortnite streams on Twitch. Even though I have been trying to get them into the new online Ocean Master you get tiles for every reef you explore, and then you use the tiles to build islands to mine ore, and whoever mines the most ore, gets to control the wurful, which is German for dice. It's fun! The Conservative Political Action Conference revealed once again that the modern conservative movement remains totally detached from reality and the mainstream of American politics people care about the pandemic and the economic crash, but at CPAC, they're obsessed with lies about the election, Mr. Potato Head, and The Muppets. And yet, still, Trump couldn't crack 55%. When Trump heard he only got 55%, he must have been like --  BEGIN CLIP: UNIDENTIFIED MALE FROM 2005:  Oh! Ay Yi Yi oh END CLIP MEYERS: This has been a closer look